Ok this is a little on the extreme side but! You can just avoid it for the rest of your life. So anytime things get frisky ensure it happens at night and in the dark, have someone that is able to be on call and swap out of the room really quick, make up an excuse like.. “Getting some cd’s…”, swap bodies, and nobody ever knows.

Tell her to have the procedure first! :banana:

Cheers

Hmm, tag team eh? Not a bad suggestion.

Anyone else, Bueller?

First of all your “Boys” dont actually get touched.

They will most probably put a small incision in your belly button and go in throught there.
They will probably put another small incision just above your pubic area for a drainage.
All up you may have about 3 small incision all of which will be above or near the top of your pubic area!

Other than that all I can say Noob is

MAN UP!!

Apart from asking her to: Go on pill ( unreliable)
Have an IUD
Have a 3monthly injection
Or the extreme Tie her tubes

Your choices are as follows:Use condoms (like showering with a raincoat on eww)
I believe theres a male “Pill”
Have the snip

Alternativly there is a pill called “The Day After Pill” which basically causes a “Miscarraige” if she is pregant, so if you think shes ovulating and theres anychance of her being pregant this will get rid of it, they use these mostly for rape victums but you could talk to your Doctor about it!!

Otherwise you can use other unreliable methods such as the rythem method or the pull out method, however these are not guarenteed for reasons that may or may not be obviouse!
Surfice to say they are Very Unreliable!!

Hope that helps!!

Good luck
Fraggle

Thankyou for your detailed response frags, but at this point I am still keen on exploring comical alternatives which will help me delay the inevitable.
:banana:

In the meantime I have decided to launch a charity to fund any hairbrained suggestions for my fellow forum goers. I will start by selling these:

Save_Ferris_jr_shirt.jpg[/attachment:2q7wvf3w]

[removed, inappropriate – cheers Mars]

But yeah, get her to have operation. If not, and you do. What happens when she gets pregnant AGAIN?!! 3D pornography? I think not!

HTFU.

It doesnt hurt that much, and you get to go bareback all the time – wheres the issue??????

shove it up the stinker simple!

Just man up and do it noob.

shove it up the stinker simple!

ROFL – thats your answer to everything! 😮

Do it man. Best I thing I did. My Lady couldn’t handle contraceptive so I was using Condoms. Now it all flows so much better. :banana:

tell her if still wants to get her cherry popped then she better shut it lol but seriously

hormones in semen absorbed through the vagina help to boost women’s mood. 🙂

we all just want to be happy and joyful!

Noob don’t listen to these idiots, the only person on the same wavelength as you is, as always, me. Frankly killing off your seed would be a crime against humanity (imo people like you should be spreading it round as much as possible while the… you know, stupid people should be getting the snip). If I was Tsar of Australia I would enforce a law where anyone who tells anyone else to get the snip should get the snip themselves.

But anyway here’s what you do… Step 1: line up a really shady surgeon who will compromise himself for cash. Step 2: Start putting drugs in your wife’s food. But you gotta do this cleverly. For example if she hasn’t had her appendix removed yet, put stuff in her food/drink that will give her a sharp pain in her lower abdomin. Step 3: Suggest that she see your “old school friend” who is a great doctor. When she sees him the shady doctor will confirm that she does indeed have appendicitis and will have to undertake surgery to remove it. Step 4: She goes under. Tubes get tied. You should use this time to decorate the place at home so that the news is sprung in a hilarious way. Step 5: She gets home, realises what you’ve done and compliments you on your creativity. Then she takes you back to your room to test out the new setup and reward you for beating her in the battle of wits.

First of all your “Boys” dont actually get touched.

They will most probably put a small incision in your belly button and go in throught there.
They will probably put another small incision just above your pubic area for a drainage.
All up you may have about 3 small incision all of which will be above or near the top of your pubic area!

Other than that all I can say Noob is

MAN UP!!

I don’t know what sort of male could read about 3 incisions within a meter radius of their pubic area and not get squeamish. And to tell noobitup to “man up” when in fact you are asking him to cripple his male capabilities is perfect irony.

I emphasise again Noob, don’t listen to these half-men / women who are telling you to “man-up” (seriously?) and get the operation. They can’t remember what it was like to be fully functional like we are.