HAHAHA

too graphic!

ARGH, MY VIRGINAL EYES.

Rofl, Cheekz thinks hes still a teenager with his fancy moves, serves you right 😆

I don’t think I can ever make love again! Everytime I see a woman all I can imagine is a broken spanner.

I don’t think I can ever make love again! Everytime I see a woman all I can imagine is a broken spanner.

Just be careful with your junk froggles. Don’t try to pull any extreme rodeo moves and you should be fine.

Thank you all for your support and well wishes.

For those without the know heres a brief summary of what happened:

Thursday 1st July 2010 approximately 10.25pm
After a few drinks at the bar I was invited to a frisky FB’s boudoir for some hanky panky.
The usual giggity happens then during a nice transition to dog my feet started to itch so I twist back upon mid pound to scratch and my sausage crackled!
Must have been an angle thing, initially it started to sting a bit but I just couldnt be bothered to check manned up and soldiered on with the job.
For the first few minutes it was slightly uncomfortable but soon it was back to normal with the sweet sound of nutsack slappage.

Same night approximately 10.35pm
I got tired so transition 2 was underway for a reverse cowgirl, she went pretty wild there for quite some time before the inevitable happened……..
*POP*
At first I had no idea WTF that was then OMFG MR T BRANG HOME THE PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOLY FOOKING SHITBALLS, on a scale of 1 to 10 on the pain-o-meter this registered a score of a bajillion!
Even with cries of *CHEEKZ MUTHAFOOKING DOWN* the bitch kept grinding and omfg I had to push her off to access the damage.
Just image a toffee apple thats been pierced right through and the apple is in the middle and the top end of the stick is bent at around 50 degrees.

Same night approximately 10.40pm
After a brief state of unconsciousness due to trauma and shock, I crawled to the fridge to grab all the blue ice packs to ice my sausage down, luckily the night was cold so that aided me some what but still I was have labour pains in my sausage times a bajillion.
A quick call to a lady friend who happens to be a nurse and I was whisked away to hospital for further treatment.

Same night approximately 10.50pm
Me: “Errrrr yes, I have a broken sausage and need urgent medical attention!!!”
Nurse: “Please wait at the seats sir, we’ll call you up when a Dr is available.”
Me: “THIS IS A MEDICAL EMERGENCY CODE RED DROP EVERYTHING AND HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”
Nurse: “Sir, you are going to have to take a seat or I’ll call security to escort you out.”
Me: “Can you at least give me some pain meds???”
Nurse: “At this time all I can offer you is this”
TWO PANADOL FORTE TABLETS!!!!!
OMFG, due to the pain I was unable to sit so I stood in agony whilst everyone around shielded their faces to laugh their arse off 🙁

Same night approximately 11.50pm
Me: “I’m dying here!!”
*tumbleweed*
//Mates arrive
*screams* BAHAHHAHAAHHAHHAHAHA, you fooking what??
Me: “CHEEKZ DOWN”
Nurse: “Guys, can you please keep it down, this is an emergency department not a social club”
Everyone lowers their voices a notch but the laughs continue on 🙁

Friday July 2nd 2010 approximately 1.00am
I have no idea what happened in between but a Dr was finally available to treat me.
I unzip to show my package
Dr: “Oh my, so how did this happen?”
Me: “EXTREME REVERSE COWGIRL GONE WRONG NOW GIMME SOME MEDS, SOME OPID DERIVATIVES WOULD BE JUST FINE!!!”
Dr: “Does this hurt? *prods my block and tackle* and no we cannot give you those kind of pain meds but heres a green whistle you can suck on.
Me: “OMFG WTF ARE YOU POKING AT!!!”
Dr: “Ok, I’m not 100% how to treat you so give me a few seconds whilst I call a few colleagues to help you”
Me: “Say WHAT?????
//10mins pass and 5 Dr’s arrive 3 male, 2 female.
More poking and “Does this hurt” happen before they move back to deliver their verdict.
Dr: “You have suffered a mild penile fracture(no shit), at this moment it doesn’t seem too bad so we’ll just ice it and put you in a splint. blah blah blah”
Sausage wrapped in a splint and off home…………….

About 20hrs after the incident I took a nap after downing a few sleeping pills. Yes the pain was that harsh that I required a few sleepers to doze off and guess what…….. that was the worst decision thus far!
30mins of dozing I woke up to sharp pains, somehow I managed to roll over onto my stomach during my nap and yes I broke my sausage again 🙁 🙁 🙁
A second trip to the hospital and surgery was opted where I spent my weekend.

So how was your weekends??? Compared to mine I bet they were smashing!

You have suffered a mild penile fracture(no bobbla)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penile_fracture

Poor bastard! ;>

Breaking News: It’s official, my fracture has gone socially viral!!! 63 get well sms’s and counting 😀
Take that noob :p

rofl. the best FML ever.
Five stars!

Ed;
oh, get well soon n all that smack. 😉

FML???
like hell it is plus I’ll still be good for the trials!!!
[youtube:3at3xdhs][/youtube:3at3xdhs]

fooking lov it XD

http://www.fmylife.com/

News Update:

Well all is going well and apparently in order to minimize scar tissue damage they’ve assigned me with a series of sausage exercises!
Just a quick tibit on the whole thing it consists of a number of clinches, the ‘hey look its a hook’ and a few other thrusting motioned moves that only Bruno stunt cocks can or are allowed to perform.
Finally just a quick note, it also says that these exercises also helps those with premature ejaculation problems!!!
GIDDY UP!!! two birds with one bone.

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