As the title suggests this is the EXTREME! edition of Thug Life! so don’t post Adventures in your mums dildo drawer stories.
Anyway to kick things off I’ll start with a few recently EXTREME! Thug Life! events.

Event 1: Never leave your phone on the coffee table
“Cheekz likes Cocks and Bukkake showers” updated 2hours ago
Penis and 17 others like this.
In retaliation, I visited the culprits bachpad, made myself a nice cuppa joe and continuously placed my HOT cuppa coasterless on his naked glass coffee table between sips!!!
Thug Life! EXTREMES!

Event 2: When your AD says “Everythings Negotiable” THEN BLOODY HELL MEAN IT!!!
Thursday night shopping is always bustling with an array of people either doing their weekly runs or a night out in town.
Now heres the thing, the Advertising campaign that Bing Lee has endeavored of late is always with the slogan “Everythings negotiable” so with that in mind its off to Bing Lee for so action, here’s a brief excerpt of the incident.
Sales: Hi, can I help you with anything tonight?
Me: Ah yeah, I was in the market for that over there(*points to the HOT piece of ass across the Audio Visual displays)
Sales: I’m sorry…….
Me: How much is that 5’10, brunette with the works and are there any optional add-ons that you offer?
Sales: I’m sorry sir but we only on floor electronics here.
Me: Yeah well I want to plug my male sockets into her female sockets so hows that for electronics!!! now how much mate and don’t be cock blocking stock for yourself.
Sales: Come on mate, lets be serious, how can I help you here tonight?
Me: told you mate, how much is that HOT piece of ass??? like your TV commercial claims, “EVERYTHINGS NEGOTIABLE”(*I point to some banner with the slogan)
//Whilst this is happening my two mates pull up on the lazy boys across the way laughing their arses off
Sales: The Everythings Negotiable is for anything in our stores sir.
Me: EXACTLY!! so how much?
Sales: I mean everything in our product line on sale in our stores sir not shoppers or any other paraphernalia.
Me: BS…… now why you trying to cock block me mate? seriously everybody knows the staff keeps the good stuff for themselves so can’t you just let this one item go???
//the lazy boy crowd goes wild with laughter
Sales: (*the rep finally realizes whats going on) Sir, I am going to have to ask you and your buddies to leave the store now.
Me: WHAT???
Sales to front desk requesting Security 🙁
Then me and my mates head out the door.
THUG LIFE! EXTREME!!

Event 3: How to score a free Tom Tom Sat Nav
After THUG LIFE! EXTREME event 2, we headed across the way to a Good Guys store, one of the guys wanted a Tom Tom sat nav so we came up with the Sat Nav challenge……. of course I drew the shortest straw and this is the events that followed……….
Me: Hi sir, I don’t work here but can I help you to bartering these guys for the best possible price?
Shopper 1: No.
Cock blocked 🙁
Me: Hi, I don’t work here but can I help you to get the best possible price or at least help you choose a TV?
Shopper 2: Sure!
Me: So what is your budget, blah blah blah
Shopper 2: blah blah blah
some more boring blah blah blah’s then an actual Sales guys arrives 🙂
Sales: Can I help you two tonight?
Me: Ah yes, My client is interested in purchasing this Samsung LED TV, what is your best price and you better throw in free delivery!
Sales: Hmm, let me check for you sir(*heads off to some random computer terminal and I follow)
Me: hey mate, if I can help you sell 3 TV’s tonight can you do a bro a favour and throw me a Tom Tom sat nav?
Sales: …….. what I thought you were that ladies agent?
Me: Yeah for now but I’m also on a mission!!!
//As it happens the manager caught wind of the conversation and piped in 🙂
Manager: Hey buddy, I’ll take up your challenge, if you can sell 3 TV’s tonight I’ll happily throw you a Tom Tom
SCOREEEEEEEEEEEEE!
2mins later shopper 2 buys the TV with a little convincing 🙂
Took me all but 30mins to reach the goal, it was boring sales crap so I’ll skip that part to lessen the boredom.
Manager: Wow, you actually did it, I’m impressed.
Me: Hells yeah, I put your sales guys to shame now wheres that Tom Tom???
Manager: You sure did(tells someone to go grab a Tom Tom)
Manager: Anyway I like what you did here tonight, you interested in joining our team?
Me: That’ll cost you.
Manager: So are you interested in it? we pay is basic plus commissions. Seeing you here tonight, I’m pretty sure you’ll be able to do very well on the commissions.
Me: Any benefits?
Manager: The sales positions are pretty stock standard so are you interested???
//my mates come around and I throw the Tom Tom over
Me: Mission accomplished!
Manager: (looks puzzled at what happened) So are you interested in working for here mate?
Me: FK NO!
We all walk out of the store
THUG LIFE! EXTREME!