one dark day in the middle of the night,
two dead man got up to fight,
back to back they faced each other,
drew there swords and shot each other!
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here
A man is as young as the woman he feels
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it
The trouble with women is that they lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go
I am not young enough to know everything
AND THEN THE ALL TIME FAVORITES!!
Yo Momma Jokes
Yo mommas so dumb she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go!
Yo mama so dumb she stared at da orange juice bottle cause it said concentrate
Your momma is so fat that when she stepped on the scale it said one at a time please.
Yo mammas so fat you could slap her legs and ride the waves
Yo mama so dumb she sold her car for gas money
Yo Mama's so fat, she got baptized at Sea World.
You're mom's so stupid, she got locked up in a super market and starved
Yo Momma is so fat she walked out in high heels and came back in flip flops.
Yo' Momma's So Fat When her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up.
Yo mama's so fat when she ordered a water bed they layed a blanket on the Pacific Ocean
Yo mamma's like a shotgun, one cock and she blows.
Yo mama so dumb that when I said "christmas is just around the corner" she went looking for it!
Yo Mamma's so fat it takes two busses and a train to get on her good side.
Your mom is so stupid, I said it's chilly outside, your mom ran outside wit a bowl and a spoon and asked where??
Yo Momma so fat she stepped on da scale and and it said to be continued...
Yo Mama's so poor, when I was asking why she was banging on the dumpster she said, "My kids locked me out."
Yo Momma so dumb when she saw a bus with white people in it she said, "Go catch that twinky."
Yo mommas so fat, she has to use a matress for a tampon.
Yo mamma's so stupid, she jumped off a boat and missed the water.
Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on the dog's tail we had to change his name to Beaver.
Yo momma's so fat that when she goes outside in her yellow jacket people say "Look it's the magic school bus!!!"
Yo Mamma so fat that when the school bus drives by she yells STOP THAT TWINKIE!
Yo Mama so fat she went into a zoo and a zookeeper said, "Oh boy...another elephant got out!"
Yo mamma so stupid, it took her two hours to watch 60 minutes
Yo mamma is like a brick, flat on both sides and gets laid by mexicans!
Yo mama's so fat that when she went to wal-mart she tripped over k-mart and hit target!!!!:-D
Yo momma is so fat, she stepped on a dollar and made change.
Yo mama's so poor when I saw her kickin' a can down the street, I asked her what was she doing and she said, movin!'
Your mammas so stupid she got locked in mattress store and slept on the floor.
Yo mama so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles came out....
Your mama is so fat she jumped in to the ocean and the whales started to sing we are family.
Yo mama's so fat she has her own zipcode
Yo Momma is like a doornob, everyone gets a turn.
Yo mamma's so fat she fell in love and broke it
Yo Mama's so fat, when she stepped onto the scale it said "to infinity and beyond!"
Yo Momma so fat, when she went to swim in the ocean she said "Oops I'm in the kiddy pool!"
I thought you were ugly ... and then I met your mama
Yo Mamma is like a hockey playa, she doesnt changer her pads for 3 periods!
Yo Momma's so ugly on Halloween, people go as her.
Yo momma's so fat that when she jumped for joy she got stuck!
Yo Momma is so fat that her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
Yo' mama so fat, she has to make a long distance call to talk to herself!
Yo Momma so fat her tanning bed was Mexico!
Your momma is so retarded she got stabbed in a shootout.
Yo momma's so fat, she walked in front of the t.v and I missed a whole series of friends!
Yo momma is so fat, she's taller sideways.
Yo Mamma so stupid that she went to Dr. Dre for liposuction.
Yo Momma so dumb, she sat on the TV to watch the couch
Yo momma's so fat, she uses the pacific ocean to take a bath.
I'm not here... but yo mama is ;-)
Yo Momma's so horny, when she found out Winnie the Pooh had no pants, she a got a boner.
Yo momma so greasy they hired her at the cinima to put the butter on the popcorn!
Yo Momma so stupid her favorite color is clear.
Yo mamas so fat that at the circus she nicknamed the elephant pee wee.
Your momma's so fat that when she fell in the forest, the loggers said "TIMBER"!
Your momma is so fat that when she sweats she can be used as a steam roller.
Your momma's so fat she has to use the ocean as her toilet!
to be continued...............
