(DRUNK)BOGAN

[i0nwr1t3r]

[quote="Joke =D":1qwt3uut]^^ Nah the British brought the all the sheep to NZ, so all the poor farmers followed their lovers. Thats how NZ became a colony of Birtain.

:lol:

Balance on Earth...

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for Six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet, replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance".

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth.

"For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot."

"Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people" God continued, pointing to different countries. "And over there, I call this place America.

North America will be rich and powerful and cold, while South America will be poor, and hot and friendly. And the little spot in the middle is Central America which is a Hot spot. Can you see the balance?"

"Yes" said the Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then he pointed to a smallish land mass and asked, "What's that one?"

"Ah" said God. "That's New Zealand, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, rainforests, rivers, streams and an exquisite coast line. The people are good looking, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super- human, undefeatable, strong in character citizens who will be admired and feared by all who come across them".

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then exclaimed, "You said there will be BALANCE!"

God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the buggers I'm putting next to them"

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA CLASSIC!!!![/quote:1qwt3uut]

Who said story telling is a lost art?

With an attitude like that(unrealistic,but they still believe it),how can you not like kiwi's? :lol:

 

[Inglourious Basterd]

World Cup

The seven dwarfs went off to work in the mine one day, while Snow White stayed at home to do the housework and cook their lunch.

However when she went to the mine to deliver their lunches, she found there had been a cave-in, and there was no sign of the dwarfs.

Tearfully she yelled in to the mine entrance: "hello - is anyone there. Can anyone hear me".

A voice floated up from the bowels of the mine:

" Australia will win the Rugby World Cup"

"Thank god" said Snow White "at least Dopey's still alive"

 

[i0nwr1t3r]

*wipes away tears*

 

[Antagonist]

we wont be winning anything "union" in quite some time lol

 

[JoKeR]

Australia always lifts for world cups though

 

[Joke :D]

haha touche.

Politically,

K-Rudd > John Key

K-Rudd > Helen Clark

Margret Thatcher = Helen Clark

 

[Antagonist]

LOL the utter sterness of Margret Thatcher would crush Helen Clark in the blink of an eye

 

[Frogma]

World Cup

The seven dwarfs went off to work in the mine one day, while Snow White stayed at home to do the housework and cook their lunch.

However when she went to the mine to deliver their lunches, she found there had been a cave-in, and there was no sign of the dwarfs.

Tearfully she yelled in to the mine entrance: "hello - is anyone there. Can anyone hear me".

A voice floated up from the bowels of the mine:

" Australia will win the Rugby World Cup"

"Thank god" said Snow White "at least Dopey's still alive"

Lol it's rare to find a new zealander who will steer the conversation towards recent results at the rugby world cup.

 

[Inglourious Basterd]

World Cup

The seven dwarfs went off to work in the mine one day, while Snow White stayed at home to do the housework and cook their lunch.

However when she went to the mine to deliver their lunches, she found there had been a cave-in, and there was no sign of the dwarfs.

Tearfully she yelled in to the mine entrance: "hello - is anyone there. Can anyone hear me".

A voice floated up from the bowels of the mine:

" Australia will win the Rugby World Cup"

"Thank god" said Snow White "at least Dopey's still alive"

Lol it's rare to find a new zealander who will steer the conversation towards recent results at the rugby world cup.

I'm pretty sure Dopey was referring to future results......

Dopey is obviously Australian.

 

[noobItUp]

Really? I could have sworn that this guy's name was dopey....

His crystal ball also seems a little dusty.

 

[Frogma]

Lol it's rare to find a new zealander who will steer the conversation towards recent results at the rugby world cup.

I'm pretty sure Dopey was referring to future results......

Dopey is obviously Australian.

I'm aware. But a NZ'er making picking on the wallabies will naturally cause and Aussie to pick on the all blacks. Hence you "steer" the conversation towards NZ results. It's a pretty common expression here in Australia, I'm sure it'll arrive in NZ in the next couple of years.

EDIT: Oh I think I see the problem, the new zealander i was referring to was you, not dopey.

And noob, rofl, how did you ever find that picture? So good.

 

[noobItUp]

And noob, rofl, how did you ever find that picture? So good.

Isn't it obvious that I am an avid reader of the Otago Daily?

It was actually carried as a good news article by Australian TV stations / print media shortly after the ABs crashed out of the most recent RWC. Its a classic picture that i've shared with many kiwi's here at work. Never fails to amuse.

 

[Inglourious Basterd]

Hence you "steer" the conversation towards NZ results. It's a pretty common expression here in Australia, I'm sure it'll arrive in NZ in the next couple of years.

lol

EDIT: Oh I think I see the problem, the new zealander i was referring to was you, not dopey.

I am aware of this...

EDIT: Oh I think I see the problem, the Australian I'm conversing is dopey


Kiwi bloke was on earth doing the Haka. Somewhere in space, Aliens were watching this unusual dance.

"Kamate, kamate, ka-ora, ka-ora......"

The Aliens were very interested and they wanted to see what would happen if they would take a part of his brain away without him even knowing. So with their alien technology they sent a laser beam down that hit the Kiwi's head and took a part of his brain away.

The Aliens then sat back to see what would happen.

"Ka-mate, ka-mate, ka-ora, ka-ora......."

What the??? The Aliens were amazed with what they were seeing. The Kiwi guy could operate with less than a full brain. So they decided to send the beam down and take another part of his brain. The Aliens watched on.

"Ka-mate, ka-mate, ka-ora, ka-ora......"

"WHAT!!!" the Aliens said to each other. "These Kiwis are very clever people even with half a brain. Let's see what happens if we take the rest of it away and leave him with no brain at all!"

So with a push of a button the Aliens sent the beam down and took away the final part of the Kiwi's brain.

"Now surely he won't know anything at all.He should be too dumb and stupid to do anything now?"

And sure enough, with no brain and no knowledge of anything at all as the Aliens watched on the bloke sang,





"WALTZING MATILDA, WALTZING MATILDA......"

 

[repent]

Aussie have the best coach available in the world atm,but alas,even with this advantage,you cant make sugar out of sh1t.

wtf was the NZRFU thinking when they reappointed Graham Henry and turning their backs on Robbie Deans,causeing him to go offshore.

sigh

 

[noobItUp]

Aussie have the best coach available in the world atm,but alas,even with this advantage,you cant make sugar out of sh1t.

wtf was the NZRFU thinking when they reappointed Graham Henry and turning their backs on Robbie Deans,causeing him to go offshore.

sigh

Completely agree.

 

[Sunncaeks]

wtf was the NZRFU thinking when they reappointed Graham Henry and turning their backs on Robbie Deans,causeing him to go offshore.

>wtf was the NZRFU thinking when they reappointed Graham Henry
>wtf was the NZRFU thinking
>the NZRFU
>NZRFU
>FU
>F. U.

 

[blusky]

hehe luv ya work chris owen m8

 

[Bogan]

Just scrolling through some old posts and came across this,you blokes talking behind my back eh?, Glad ya went off topic though ,i'm a shy little flower,now that i'm on the forum i better keep a close eye on some of these posts.
Cheers Boges (not really a Bogan,well cept for my flannies and beanies)

 

[noobItUp]

>wtf was the NZRFU thinking when they reappointed Graham Henry
>wtf was the NZRFU thinking
>the NZRFU
>NZRFU
>FU
>F. U.

umm, in hindsight, doesn't seem such a terrible move now does it? ABs playing better than ever.

 

[Sunncaeks]

>wtf was the NZRFU thinking when they reappointed Graham Henry
>wtf was the NZRFU thinking
>the NZRFU
>NZRFU
>FU
>F. U.

umm, in hindsight, doesn't seem such a terrible move now does it? ABs playing better than ever.

Bahah, true that. Was quite an old post, though.